Why do people get so jealous
Mortal Sin Envy: Why We Are Envious of Others & How To Get Out Of It
Most of us are probably familiar with this feeling. You feel lousy and incapable right now and then this friend sits across from you, who beams and laughs and tells us how well she is doing right now. Job, love, inner attitude - everything is great. So great that we get in a bit of a bad mood or - let's call the child by name: we are overcome with pure envy.
I also catch myself there from time to time. When I sit in front of the computer on a gray day and scroll through the Facebook timeline. And then I see an old friend who stands beaming on a beach at the other end of the world and laughs. As I continue stalking, I see: She is constantly traveling the world, has a great guy and exudes this incredible uninhibitedness and joy of life in every picture. I already feel a little bit worse.
The envy and happiness of others
It's easier than ever to be jealous today. After all, almost everyone presents their life on social media channels and of course everything looks great there. The Instagram girls are beautiful and peeled from the egg. The ladies on Pinterest are trendy and stylish like nothing. And everyone on Facebook somehow leads a jet set life. You are already beginning to compare yourself.
Stupid mistake. Because who sees the bad days, the dark hours, the problems? Nobody posts that. There are always only the icing on the cake and you actually know that too. Still doesn't always help. Especially when you're having a bad day yourself.
The difficulty of constantly relating to oneself
"To see others happy and satisfied without being oneself is the greatest challenge for envy," says social psychologist Rolf Haubl. But why? Why can't you just enjoy yourself? That would be the most natural thing in the world. A friend gets a marriage proposal and while you're still looking forward to it, you wonder whether you have to feel stupid because you haven't been asked yet.
Why this constant reference to oneself instead of being selflessly happy for the other person? After all, envy makes you feel doubly stupid. Because you envy other people's happiness. And because you know how ugly that feeling actually is. Envy. One of the seven deadly sins.
Video by Kathrin Stangl
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That's why we have three tips for you to get a grip on envy:
1. Take envy as an incentive
But envy also has a positive side. Namely, if you take the other as an incentive to change your own life instead of grieving yourself further. A good friend once said to me: "If you are dissatisfied with your life, then change something instead of looking at others and being depressed."
So if you get jealous every now and then, try to get something positive out of that negative feeling. Use envy as an incentive for you to change things in your life in a positive way. Envy as a drive to pursue your own goals - in this case, envy is definitely good and helpful.
2. Don't make yourself small next to the others
When others have great lives, it can't make you automatically feel small and bad. Other people are just like you. They also have problems and bad days. You should always make this clear to yourself when you are overwhelmed by envy. Ask yourself: Would I want to swap with this person completely - the whole life, the whole package? Then you will quickly notice that your envy is unfounded because this person also has his problems.
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3. Believe in yourself
Heard it a hundred times, didn't really believe it a hundred times, but it's like this: Each of us is unique. You too have many strengths that others don't. You will see: if you like yourself and are aware of your strengths, you are no longer so prone to envy. Therefore, don't just pay attention to the negative things about yourself and in your life like a black painter, but concentrate on the positive ones. That is far more constructive and ultimately makes you much happier!
You might also be interested in: Women and Their Self-Esteem: A Difficult Relationship
Envy is the downward spiral that makes us even more miserable. So we stop drooling at other people's lives. That only makes you unhappy. Instead, we should say to ourselves: Bring on the beautiful life - and take our happiness into our own hands!
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