Do you like sarcasm
140 short jokes for every sense of humor (+ top 10)
We have put together 140 great short jokes in nine categories for you. Not only do you save time searching, but you are sure to find something you like. Finally make your family and friends laugh again.
Benefits of short jokes
Benefits of short jokes
Short jokes have a number of advantages. They are easier to remember and less likely to misrepresent them. Who doesn't know it, be it from yourself or from a comedy: someone wants to tell a joke, but has memorized it wrongly or forgot the punch line in the middle. With short jokes something like this certainly won't happen to you.
You can also quickly type them out and send them via WhatsApp or Facebook. If you have some good friends or relatives who appreciate funny jokes and sayings, they can even be great for a birthday card. You can quickly find some good jokes in our top 10 list. When you have a little more time, you should look at the categories that suit you best. Have fun!
140 short jokes in 9 categories
In the following selection you will find all kinds of jokes for every type of humor. You will find it both if you love sarcasm and if you like flat jokes. There are also word games, funny life wisdom with which you can always counter, your-mother-and-Chuck-Norris jokes, joke questions and short jokes for birthday. Whether you make yourself or your friends laugh - spread some jokes, even if they are bad, good mood.
Short jokes: our top 10
Short jokes: our top 10
So that you can find what you are looking for quickly, we have created a top 10 for you. Here are some good short jokes to send to friends and family. They are suitable for almost everyone, as we made sure in our selection that they cannot offend. They do not belong in the black humor category and do not attack anyone personally. With them you are on the safe side for a laugh. If you can't find what you are looking for, take a look at our other categories or check out these 111 laughable jokes.
- I have only now understood that Frucht-Tiger is an increase in fruity ... It will never be the same again. # fruity tiger quenches thirst and it comes on
- What is the deer's first name? - potato mash
- My wife wants to talk to me about my childish behavior. - Well, she won't get into my pillow castle without the secret word.
- That moment when attendance is checked at school and you nervously prepare for the "yes" beforehand.
- "On a scale from 1 to 10, how German are you?"
"May I see your survey authorization certificate first?"
- What do you call a light mammoth? - Hellmut.
- If you had to choose between diet and chocolate, would you choose black, white, or chocolate with whole milk?
- I can also live without a career.
- That moment when someone says "Hello", you panic and think you have friends, but the person behind you just answered the phone.
- Which kitten is not an animal? - The pussy willow.
Short funny life wisdom
Short funny life wisdom
With these wisdoms you can always counter well or just give them the best. They are versatile and you can use them in all kinds of situations. Some of them are sarcastic, some are self-deprecating, and still others are just putting together a few facts in a funny way. For example, if a friend writes “Good morning” to you, you might say, “I like sarcasm, but I think this 'good morning' is pretty exaggerated.” Another possibility is if something embarrassing has happened to you using this saying as a status to adjust: "Once the reputation is ruined, it is quite uninhibited." You can find more wisdom here.
- Once the reputation has been ruined, it is quite uninhibited.
- Do you remember when going to bed was a punishment? How stupid we were!
- Whoever got the voodoo doll of mine. Please stop feeding them all the time.
- I learned one thing in math: If it's too easy, it's definitely wrong!
- I am simple, complicated, selfless, selfish, unattractive, beautiful, lazy and full of zest for action.
- In 90% of cases, tidying up ends with sitting somewhere and playing around with things that you found while tidying up.
- Of course you have to take the men as they are. But you can't let it be like that.
(Zsa Zsa Gabor)
- I bring the problems with me - you bring the alcohol.
- I know that myself that I can't sing well.
- I love shoes. No matter how many cookies I eat, they always fit.
- My best friends get married, move to New York or buy real estate ... and I ... I eat the sticker on the apple. Thank you life!
- Don't forget: the word envy contains envy. This is not good.
- People say NOTHING is impossible, but I do NOTHING every day.
(Winnie the Pooh)
- The fact is: everyone has a grandma who hands over money as if it were drugs.
- I like sarcasm, but I think this “good morning” is pretty exaggerated.
Short sarcastic jokes
Short sarcastic jokes
Most of these jokes are cynical quotes, but they can be quite funny in the right context. You can really show off with them if you use them as a sarcastic counterattack on something. For example, you could say, “Tolerance means to excuse your mistakes. Genius means: not noticing. ”Counter when a friend criticizes you. Another possibility is if he made a mistake himself and that way you can point it out to him in a fun way.
- Tolerance means: apologizing for your own mistakes. Genius means: not noticing it.
- Bloat is the most reliable swim belt in the stream of life.
- It's only when you've run a mile in someone else's shoes that you know what a fool he is.
- Those who have no goal in life themselves can at least disrupt the progress of others.
- You only notice how happy you were on land when the ship goes down.
- Do you know how to make God laugh? Tell him your plans.
- Some pleasure consists of withholding it from others.
- If the only thing missing is the tent, the circus would be complete here.
- I don't have the time or the crayons to explain this to you right now.
- Sometimes my sarcasm level is so high that I don't even know if I'm serious or not.
Short jokes with puns
Short jokes with puns
Short jokes with puns are particularly good for sending. Sometimes you need a moment for them because the right reading, pronunciation, or intonation that is hidden in them is crucial. But especially if it takes longer to understand it, it is usually all the more fun. Let's take the joke "My grandma is now a bouncer, we now call her Hilde-Guard." If the joke were spoken, it would probably take longer for someone to understand that Hilde-Guard does not mean the name Hildegard, but a Play on words from this name and the English term for a guard or a doorman. Anyone who speaks English and sees the joke in written form will quickly understand it and smile at it.
- My grandma is now the bouncer, we now call her Hilde-Guard.
- What is healthy and strong and plays the offended? - A poultry bread.
- What hops through the forest and is really hot? - A fireplace.
- Shopping when you are hungry - priceless.
- Where does a whale go to eat? - To the Wa (h) llocal.
- "I haven't slept for days now" - "Aren't you totally exhausted?" - "No, I sleep well at night."
- What is cute and moves from piece of cake to piece of cake? - A Tarzipan.
- Two German teachers meet on the beach. "Genitive into the water!" - "Why, is it dative?"
- What is fun about stabbing someone? - A sadist.
- I locked myself out earlier. I was over the moon.
- Heard Bushido wants to buy AirBerlin. The new airline will then be called Airsguterjunge.
- An Indian family lives next to me. I just noticed that your WiFi is called “Indernet”.
- What is green, happy and jumping from blade to blade of grass? - A freak.
- What's a biscuit under a tree? - A shady spot.
- I hate to be asked how my friends would describe me in a job interview because I doubt “stupid junk” will get me the job.
- I dropped a yogurt. It was no longer tenable.
- What do mushrooms do on a pizza? Act as a covering.
- I am very good at dealing with people.
- Hans-Dieter wears socks in sandals. He was arrested for sandalism.
- What lies on the beach and speaks indistinctly? - A mumble.
Short jokes with joke questions
You can usually only ask the following short joke questions once per person. After that, she will have memorized the answer and the joke will no longer work. The funny thing about these short jokes is that the answer is unexpected. Joke questions are like little puzzles that can hardly ever be answered "correctly". Similar to short jokes with puns, the audience is surprised by an unexpected punchline and has to laugh.
- I don't eat all kinds of chips. I'm very fussy about that.
- If little monkeys are called monkeys, what are little maggots called?
- What is green and is coming? - A lump salad.
- What does Kevin respond when asked what half of six is? - Half past five.
- What's the difference between a broken leg and a burglary? - You have to lie down for three months after a broken leg, and sit for three months after a break-in.
- Why has never been a vegan on the moon? - Because he can't tell anyone that he's vegan.
- What tastes better than it smells? - The tongue.
- What are two angry sheep doing? - You’re getting caught up in it.
- What were Kevin's toughest ten years? - Primary school.
- Which beers foam the most? - The barbers.
- Why is there so little work on construction sites in winter? - The beer bottles burst when it is frosty!
- Two candles are talking to each other: "Is water actually dangerous?"
- What is the difference between a baker and a carpet? - The baker has to get up at 3:30 in the morning. The carpet can stay where it is.
- What do you call a trained farmer? Farm demiker.
- What's more fluid than water? - Homework is superfluous.
Short birthday jokes
Short birthday jokes
Stand out from the crowd and surprise the birthday child with a short joke. You can either send it to WhatsApp, write it on a card or even include it in a speech. A few funny birthday sayings are particularly suitable if the speech was rather emotional and you want to put people in a good mood again. Make sure, however, that the birthday boy or girl understands your sense of humor. Otherwise you should rather fall back on nice sayings or even write birthday wishes yourself.
- Happy Birthday. Without you it would be like you weren't there.
- Fate will have its reasons.
- So far you have not known this problem, but from now on I can give you some good advice: The secret of eternal youth is to lie about your true age.
- Ok, it's good, happy birthday - and now I'm nervous, I'll see you at your party. HdgdlbzMuz
- Most will now make fun of your age. But not me! I don't make fun of old people.
- I congratulate you on your birthday. May proper craftsmen pave your way and never rip you off.
- Oh yes, the youth ... to be young, healthy and full of energy. Can you still remember it or is it already fading?
- Finally senior discount! Congratulations on that.
- A girl and a glass of wine cure all misery. And whoever doesn't drink and who doesn't kiss is as good as dead!
(Johann Wolfgang von Goethe)
- I wish you all the best for your birthday! Hex hex!
Short Chuck Norris jokes
Short Chuck Norris jokes
Chuck Norris jokes have spread rapidly and have become an integral part of the German joke culture. But what do people laugh at when they hear a Chuck Norris joke? This joke shows it best: "Chuck Norris will never get an Oscar as an actor - because he doesn't act." His superhuman abilities as an action hero in various film roles are also reflected in his real life. He has mastered some martial arts and thus gives his figure a certain truthfulness. So over time he became a symbol of superhumanity and jokes about him spread rapidly. Check out more facts and Chuck Norris jokes here.
- Chuck Norris makes onions cry.
- Chuck Norris achieves his Bachelor under the standard study time.
- The earth only turns because Chuck Norris gave it a roundhouse kick.
- Chuck Norris died yesterday. Today he is feeling better again.
- Chuck Norris was once insulted in Latin - since then it has been considered a dead language.
- Time is running out to escape Chuck Norris.
- Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
- Chuck Norris can stand faster than others can run.
- If Google can't find something, Chuck Norris asks. (Marc Kue)
- Chuck Norris is allowed to speak to the bus driver while driving.
- Chuck Norris sneezes with his eyes open.
- When Chuck Norris was born, the doctor said to the mother, "Congratulations, it's a MAN!"
- Chuck Norris can jump over his own shadow.
- Chuck Norris eats his Knoppers at nine in the morning in Germany.
- Voldemort calls Chuck-Norris "You-Know-Who".
- Chuck Norris gets 20 percent on everything at Praktiker. Also on pet food.
- Chuck Norris doesn't use eye drops. He uses Tabasco.
- Chuck Norris doesn't have eyelashes. They are EYEBARS.
- Chuck Norris surrenders his right - his left is faster anyway.
- Chuck Norris orders and gets Chicken McNuggets from Burger King.
Short your mother jokes
Everyone knows the classic your mother jokes. In fact, sayings of this type have been around for 3,500 years and are found all over the world. Men in particular have your mother-to-be battles and test who has the best sayings. They clearly fall into the flat jokes category and can certainly make your friends laugh if they have the same sense of humor as you. You can find more your mother jokes here.
- Your mother works at IKEA as lowest drawer.
- Your father calls your mother “you-know-who”.
- Your mother pours Actimel on the computer to protect it against viruses
- Your mother applied to be Santa Claus at Coca Cola.
- Your mother is fighting with ducks in the park for the last crumbs of bread.
- Google Earth called, your mother is in the picture.
- If your mother sneezes, everyone knows what Tokio Hotel was singing about.
- Your mother thinks sustainably and drinks the leftovers from the deposit machine at the deposit machine
- The only one who still laughs at your mother jokes is your father.
- Your mother pulls catapults to Gondor.
- Your mother owes Peter Zwegat.
- Popeye is spinach to get strong. Your mother eats everything and doesn't stop there.
- Your mother loves her dog. He's the only one who says WAU when he sees her.
- When the Night King saw your mother, he turned around and never came back.
- With the yoghurt, your mother tips the big corner into the small one.
Short jokes of all kinds
Short jokes of all kinds
The following jokes do not belong to any particular category. They're perfect if you're just looking for a good joke that doesn't have to be on a specific topic. From Fritzchen jokes to word games to this moment sayings and inside jokes, everything is included. You will surely find what you are looking for here and you can put a smile on your friends' faces with funny jokes. Think about who might best suit which joke. If you can gauge your friends' humor, it should be easy for you to come up with a suitable joke.
- I never used to understand why it was called the St. Andrew's Cross. I know today. It signals: STOP STOP! Thanks to RTL2.
- Relationships Today:
Juliet: "Hey Romeo, what are we doing tonight?"
Romeo: "I follow you."
- My biggest fear is that at some point grandparents will no longer be called Elfriede and Heinz, but Chantal and Kevin.
- "Hey mom, how are you doing with your first smartphone?"
"How does one blank"
- At breakfast the landlady says to the student: "Looks like rain!" Then the student: "Yes, but you can tell that it should be coffee."
- Vegans don't have children. They get offspring.
- When a cuckoo flies across the Atlantic, a shark appears below it. If the cuckoo says: "Hi!", The shark says: "Cuckoo!"
- That moment when your mother comes into your room, leaves and leaves the door open.
- The face of the person sitting next to you when you ask him on the flight to Barcelona what he's up to in London - priceless.
- "I didn't do anything, it was like that."
Either the reaction of children who broke something or of parents on the computer.
- Two raisins meet. One asks the other: "Why do you have a helmet on?" Answers the other: "I have to go straight into the tunnel."
- I could not believe it. My neighbor actually rang our doorbell at 3 a.m. I almost fell off the drill.
- When everyone is asleep and one is talking, it's called a lesson.
- Why don't vegans drink tap water? - Because it comes from the tap.
- Mother: "You are a real piglet, Fritzchen ... You know what a piglet is?" Fritzchen: "Of course, the sow's child."
- Why can ghosts lie so badly? - Because they are so easy to see through.
- "Your teeth are like Gelsenkirchen and Duisburg." - "Huh?" - "There's still food in between."
- I'd make a joke about Deutsche Bahn now, but it wouldn't have arrived.
- That moment when, during class, the teacher walks by and you cover up your answers so he doesn't see how stupid you are.
- That moment when you have already asked "What?" Three times, still do not understand it and therefore simply agree.
- "You Karl-Heinz, I can't sleep."
"Karl-Heinz: Evil never sleeps."
- I am probably always tired because so many talents lie dormant in me.
- How does a declaration of love work in northern Germany? Answer: "I am not entirely unsympathetic to you."
- The mother explains to Fritzchen: “A disease always attacks the weakest parts of the body.
Fritzchen says: "Aha, that's why my sister always has a headache!"
- Dentist to patient: You need a crown - Patient: Finally someone understands me.
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