Why do people date narcissists

Are you dating a narcissist? Watch out for 9 warning signs

So do you think you found this? He's funny, charismatic, attractive and he showered you with compliments.

There's a flash of excitement and everything seems perfect - except Sometimes he exaggerates when talking about his résumé. And you wish he wasn't so condescending to your BFF. The bragging? Well it is a shutdown.

Get ready. You can date a narcissist.

We have all met a narcissist at one point or another. For decades, Hollywood loved showing narcissistic characters - from the squabbling, manipulative Scarlet O’Hara to the far colder and ruthless Tony Soprano - because their behavior is so dramatic.

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Often times, according to the Mayo Clinic, people with Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) monopolize, belittle, or look down on conversations, have a sense of legitimacy, and insist they have the best of all. As demonstrated in Scarlett O O Hara and Tony Soprano, the NPD, which tends to affect more men than women, varies from person to person on a spectrum. Some may be at the very end while others are in the middle.

9 signs of narcissistic personality disorder

Of course, not all bad behavior can be clinically diagnosed as NPD. But if you find a new dating prospect showing multiple signs of the disorder, you may want to think twice before moving on with the relationship. Ben Michaelis, Ph.D. lists the following signs to look for in your bae to protect yourself from exploitation and abuse.

1. He exaggerates his achievements in the hope of being praised by other people.

2. He deals with fantasies of limitless success, love and brilliance.

3. He believes he is special and should only work with other special people.

4. He has to be admired.

5.He feels entitled and believes that his needs should always be met.

6. He takes advantage of others and takes advantage of them.

7. He lacks empathy for other people.

8. He becomes jealous of other people and believes that they are jealous of them.

9. He is arrogant and he shows himself important, condescending, behaviors.

How the signs manifest in a relationship

1. He will shower you with attention first and then get hot and cold.

Narcissists can be very polite or concerned early on. But in time, when he feels that he “has” you, power will shift and his needs will be put before yours. Your emotional and other needs will not be fully met. He can even drop you off to make him feel better. You will find yourself adored, but then devalued.

2. He will quickly take control of the relationship

Narcissistic people often are very Control of their partners.

3. He will not respond to your emotional needs.

A narcissist has a lack of empathy towards others - including you.

When you share your emotional needs with a narcissist, they may not respond. The key question to ask is, "What is he doing to meet my emotional needs?" If he repeatedly fails to meet your emotional needs, it may be time to step out of the relationship.

4. He will play mind games with you.

One technique favored by narcissists is gas light, a power struggle tactic in which a person makes a victim question their reality. This keeps the narcissist in a strong position and makes you question your own experiences.

Michaelis points out that “a narcissist can actually change their behavior for a short time and becomes the ideal partner for a short time. But they usually pull back on their old ways when they feel the person won't leave. "

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Just because a narcissist has little compassion for others doesn't mean they lack feelings. If he believes he is being betrayed in some way - or if someone doesn't believe in him - he will try different strategies to avoid the experience of loss.

Talk to an expert

So what do you do when you are with a narcissist? "If you find out that you are dating a narcissist, you should try to get help," says Michaelis. "Find a licensed psychiatrist to advise you on your specific situation."