How do introverts find love

How introverts love

Last update: 02 January, 2017

The introverted brain works differently. Therefore, their love affairs are usually more delicate. Within these there are few words, but very honest and profound expressions of love. These are people who are able to bond with their loved one in a more intense and almost magical way.

We could - without being mistaken - say that an introvert is much better understood today than it was a few decades ago. Thanks to a large number of published studies and books, e.g. The power of the introvert by Susan Cain, we already know such important aspects as the fact that an introvert is not shy: She is picky, attentive, sensitive and a good leader in working life.

"Moving away from introversion means a colossal loss of talent, energy and happiness."

Susan Cain

When it comes to love, it is common for introverts to grapple with difficulties characteristic of this personality type. Adolescence or puberty can lead one to think that there is nothing they can do about the glamor and dazzling glow of extroverted people. For a long time they hide in the last corners of the back rows from where they come from watch the world in peace can.

An introverted adolescent usually lives in silence. He does not dare to take a step in this regard that at first seems as if it were only reserved for bold people who love the noise and stand in groups with countless friends, where everyone talks and nobody listens.

But gradually the introvert "wakes up" and notices what qualities he has.

When the need for loneliness becomes a problem

It is said that simplicity is to leave the obvious aside and focus on what is really important. This approach, this focus, is undoubtedly the main characteristic of introverts. They don't like superficiality, meaningless conversation just for the sake of saying something; they don't like to be the center of attention or invest their time and energy in something that does not correspond to their true nature, their soul, their personality.

Perhaps this is precisely why they find it difficult to flirt, go to parties, surround themselves with other people, or start a conversation with whoever did it to them when they are in a group with other people. We must not forget that neurologists explain this by that introverted people quickly become neurally fatigued when they want to communicate and make social connections. Therefore, they often need Moments of loneliness “to recharge your battery”.

Carl Gustav Jung was also very interested in the subject of introversion. For him, introverts put their entire focus on subjective processes that take place in their head. Because of this, they usually stay away from everyday noise to breathe in the oxygen they need for solitude.

Now that we've looked at the characteristics of introverts, the question arises, how do you manage to find a partner?

Introverts and love

Nowadays the so-called "Quiet Revolution" is on the advance. This revolution aims at different things: On the one hand, it wants to dispel false clichés - introverts and extroverts are not fixed concepts, they are two extremes of a continuum, towards which every person has a different orientation.

"We must remember that when you are not doing anything, you are always most active and you are never lonely when you are spending time with yourself."


An introvert doesn't hate being socially active. He also has no less social skills than others - on the contrary. We're talking about people who have found their own freedom. In a hyperactive society that obliges us to be dependent on our surroundings for the information we receive through them, an introvert has found refuge within himself to be more creative, more sensitive, more authentic, more analytical and with himself To be able to deal with the emotional world well.

We don't always have to go to an event to find a partner. This personality knows in which environment it can move and how it connects with others. They seduce with short conversations, face-to-face conversations, and with simple and magical moments full of togetherness.

Characteristics of an introvert within a relationship

Another stereotype we should dispel is that introverts can only have a healthy relationship with a like-minded person. But that is by no means true. Introverts and extroverts can just as easily have a successful love affair in which both partners enrich one another.

Let's take a look at the characteristics of introverts in this regard:

  • An introvert likes to share moments of loneliness with their partner. She gives this person all of her attention and energy. Plus, introverts are magical builders for connecting to our deepest emotions, and that creates a solid and authentic bond.
  • On the other hand, and this is important, an introvert knows that he has to give his sweetheart freedom. He does this because he too needs these moments of loneliness in order to process the impressions from his surroundings and because he also wishes to spend time with himself.
  • Something we should also understand is that we should never ask an introvert to do anything or be someone who is not who they are. Introverts do not like to change habits or act contrary to their values, ways or habits. You can't do anything with superficiality and you no longer surround yourself with certain people just because your partner wants you to.
  • Just because they're silent doesn't mean they're doing anything Bad think. This is a common trait. Having an introverted partner sometimes means sharing moments of silence. But that's not to say the partner is bored, doesn't know what to say, or is uncomfortable. We should therefore not bombard him with classic questions such as: "What are you thinking right now?" Because if there is one thing that introverts appreciate, it is precisely these moments of silence. It allows them to be themselves without any compulsion, to enjoy this authentic simplicity and to connect their own inner world with that of their partner in mutual silence. Can there be anything more beautiful?

I like friends who respect time, silence and space

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Images courtesy of Eveline Tarunadjaja